We know that all of our children (adopted or belly) are His choice, His design, and His unique plan for our family. I don’t think we could enter into this life of adoption and discipleship if that wasn’t at the core of our heart’s conviction. But as we leap headlong into parent hood for the fifth time we are keenly aware of His leading this time. Maybe it is because we have sojourned some tall mountains in the journey of parenthood or maybe because each child He has placed into our care is so wonderfully unique and their story powerfully theirs? But whatever the reason, we are awed and humbled that He would let us be a part of the story He is writing. This time He has made it so clear that Hannah is His choice. He literally pointed to her and said “go”. And after long court battles that were messy and gray and years where we were required to suit up each day for battle alongside the King, my mama heart is thankful for this gift of clarity that can lead me beside still waters and gift me REST in His leadership.
Oh, how He loves us.
I promised in my last post to tell you more about His beautiful writing of this story, so here is the rest, as we walk the road of JOY…
We had asked for an updated file because the original information we were given in her file was over a year old. Then we waited. I just blocked it out and went on with life. And so one morning as we were schooling and practicing our reading I opened Mazie’s workbook to this
After a year of prepositional sight words we open to JOY and we both laughed. She knew it and said it before I could… “like Hannah JOY,” I smiled and said, “isn’t God funny Mazie?” And not 30 minutes later we got a call from Daddy up in his office, “we just got the update on Hannah JOY, come up and lets look at it together”.
And so we did. And my mind began to do the dance, you know the one? Where you try to imagine it all? Try to fit it into your pea size brain the mighty and perfect plans of God?
So I did that all afternoon researching and trying to figure it out. I had a peace but I wanted more, I wanted to know, my heart wanted concrete under the billowing waves He was beckoning me to walk upon.
And that afternoon as we drove to the library I shared my heart with Him. We were pretty sure she was ours. No she can’t walk and can’t feed herself yet and there are so many unknowns but it just seems like His hand keeps urging us forward, calling us out to JOY. I poured my weariness out to Him as I drove, and then dragged all the kids into the library. As we walked the aisles and I helped the littles find books He came and gave the sweetest confirmation I have ever experienced.
After asking for the book “Fireman Small” one of our regulars, the librarian kindly offered to take me to it so I didn’t have to search. As I followed behind her and watched her pluck the book from the stack it was as if His hand came down and lovingly turned my head. And after being turned back to focus on the book behind Fireman Small this is what I saw
I was speechless and overwhelmed over His tender mercy towards me, towards us, towards Hannah. Out of all the books, in all the library, he led us to this one.
I teared up and began worshiping Him right there in the Dr. Seuss aisle. Because church can happen anywhere. And when He shows up, you know that the place you are standing on is holy ground. And you just have to declare His greatness because there is nothing in you that could hold back that titlewave of praise that comes rushing out from the depths of you to give Him the glory He deserves. Because in that moment, you know that this moment is the one you were made for.
And so in a little country library it was finished. A little girl born on the other side of the world was abandoned in the night because she was special. And through His tears in those dark hours He smiled. Because He knew that He had already spoken her name to my heart. And that there in that basket beside her and the powdered milk and the note lay a hope and a future. He had planted a seed of JOY for her and for us and none us knew, but Him. He declared it to be so and almost three years later we knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was ours, and Hannah was her name. We checked the book out and brought it home to Daddy and told Him all that had happened and in His quiet man way he just smiled and said “yep, she is ours.” And truth be told he already knew that. It was me that needed the book and the worship and moment with my Dad, because my little girl heart still needs Him to hold my hand and in His great love for me He doesn’t deny me that…
Oh how He loves us!
If you are moved by His story that He is writing for Hannah we pray that you would consider coming along side of us in bringing her home. You can read more about what is needed here: http://www.gofundme.com/hannah-joy
And if you would like to see pictures and a short video of our sweet girl please email us at the contact us link at the bottom of the blog for a password protected page where you can see all of the cuteness for yourself!