A Wedding Weekend

Well, I am still recovering from our weekend, but we had a great time celebrating the marriage of Will and Danielle Rutt!  Mrs. Danielley, as we affectionately call her, was our helper over here for almost a year.  She walked through early baby days and me in a fog for several months seeing the good the bad and the VERY sleep deprived.  The day she left I bawled like a baby!  The thought of doing it all on my own was overwhelming and we were going to miss her!  I was terrified, but God was good and slowly but surly I got the hang of things and we have been chugging along ever since.

We are forever thankful to her for coming along side of us in a very difficult season, 4 babies 4 and under-yikes!  And it was a joy to see her so full of the Lord’s beauty as a bride this weekend.  She is enjoying a honeymoon in Colorado and I am praying for a honeymoon of my own in the next 10 years! ;o)

Here are a few pictures I snapped along the way as we celebrated…

Everyone dressed up and ready for the rehearsal dinner

The little boys excited to be a part of the festivities

Playing Peek-a-boo at the church

The bride and groom with the kiddos.

The flower girl and ring bearer ready for the big day!

MG and the beautiful bride! 

Caleb with his flower girls!

What fun! Congratulations you two, it was a privilege to be a part of your big day and we can’t wait to see all God does in your life together!

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Happy Father’s Day

The day is almost over and the man I love is asleep-  snoring (rather loudly!), next to me. I haven’t had a second to post anything this weekend.  Caleb and MG were in a wedding yesterday and today was filled to the brim with cooking and family over- I am tired.  My little card that inserts pictures from my camera is missing so no pictures either. But I couldn’t let the day pass without thanking the Lord for choosing this man- this Daddy- for us.  I prayed for years that God would choose a husband for me, and not allow me to mess it up, and choose He did.  A perfect match, a man who would love like no other, a father to the fatherless, and a friend like no other.

We are blessed, we are thankful.  We don’t deserve any of it, but we are so humbled by the love of God our father who has given us you.  We love you Babe, Happy Father’s Day!

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REAL FOOD Crash Course: Session 1 – A Birds Eye View

I have been wanting to share more about our journey into real food and away from all things processed, but honestly I sit down and have no idea where to start.  The Lord has woven lots of resources together for us over the past few months and each one has been critical in learning and growing and understanding the importance of real food in our lives.

I am going to try to nutshell it for you in a bird’s-eye view format.  For anyone that may be curious and needs that little nudge forward, I am hoping this will help.  There is no lack of info out there on real food but sometimes it can be hard to figure out what will actually be a practical help to you with YOUR family and in YOUR kitchen.  I am no expert, in fact I am really new to all this.  Just four months ago I was a fast food loving, non organic shopping mama.  But this journey has really opened my eyes to nutritional stewardship and how it impacts both our bodies and spirits as we seek to honor Him in what we feed ourselves.

So… I am going to share a few of my BIRD’s EYE VIEW thoughts on REAL FOOD.  Just some bullets of the most profound things I have learned over the past few months.  In the next session I will give you links to resources that have been key for us, and then finally my hope is to create a FIND and REPLACE list.  This is honestly the easiest way to begin to change the way your family eats.  Find the key items that are easy to replace with whole food items and then just switch over.  Most of your family will never know the difference in taste and it will go a long way in giving you a kick-start to a healthier life.  This is exactly how we started and it helped me to simplify and add healthy alternatives without the overwhelm of changing everything all at once.

A BIRDS EYE VIEW of real food:

  • 1. Most “food” in the grocery store is not actual food, it is food product created in a laboratory not in a kitchen.  Anything boxed or pre-prepared has to be significantly altered in order to give it shelf life and wide-spread taste appeal.  This is also where your money goes- to the scientist, product designer, and marketing consultant – not to the actual purchase of “nutrition”
  • 2. Anything that is low-fat, reduced calorie, low carb, etc. has been altered significantly from its original form in order to make it look and taste like the real thing. Chemicals not meant for consumption and other dangerous additives have been added to it to make it seem appealing.
  • 3. All dairy products are most healthy in their whole fat organic form.  While there is lots of debate about cow’s milk and raw vs. pasteurized etc., the best place to start is eliminating the low-fat versions of these foods that contain additives like powdered cholesterol.  We have switched to all whole organic versions of milk, yogurt, sour cream, cream cheese, and cheese.  In order to reduce your fat intake and still eat the whole stuff simply adjust the amount you eat of these in a day.  We also drink almond milk to help with calories and to get additional nutrition. More details and great info on this topic here
  • 4. I no longer buy pre shredded cheese because it contains cellulose, even in the organic brands.  Cellulose is added to prevent clumping and is made out of wood pulp.  Yummy huh?  Save yourself money and buy organic block cheese and shredded and slice it yourself. You can read more in-depth info on this here
  • 5. Most non organic meat sold in groceries throughout the US, along with meat from most restaurants is produced by only 3 corporations.  These cows are raised on huge feed lots that are not sanitary or humane and the animals are fed genetically modified corn and dead animal by products not to mention all the hormones and antibiotics they are pumped full of.  The conditions are so grotesque and unhealthy that the only way the animals can survive is the vast amounts of antibiotics they are given and even so many of them die from conditions alone.  The meat that is produced is not actual meat because God designed cows to eat grass.  When you feed them corn it alters their body composition and their meat.  So what we are eating is not “meat” as it was designed to be.
  • 6. Even meat labeled “organic” can be meat from cows that are just fed organic corn instead of regular corn.  For meat to be in its most natural healthy state it must be from cows that are “grass-fed”.  As for chicken meat it should be “free range” so that the chickens are allowed to forage for their food which includes grass, bugs, worms, grains, etc.
  • 7. In order to afford this kind of meat we have reduced our consumption by filling in the gaps with vegetables, whole grains, eggs, and beans and nuts.  Usually 2-3 meals a week include actual meat and the others are bean, rice, veggie, and egg based.  This allows us to get more vegetables into our diet and allows us to buy the good meat and enjoy it a few times a week.
  • 8. There are many harmful pesticides and chemicals found on all types of fruits and vegetables.  Some more than others, but they are still present across the board.  This is hard because you can’t see the pesticides, so it can seem like a waste to buy organic, but they are there!  They even absorb into the soil and become part of the actual plant, so you can’t just wash it off.  There is a list here called the dirty dozen.  It lists the most contaminated fruits and veggies that should be bought organically.  This is how we began switching over.  I only bought the things on this list organically in order to afford it.  But now that I have seen my grocery bill go down  eating this way, I have switched to mostly ALL organic fruits and veggies.  Now the bulk of what I spend each week is on produce.
  • 9. A chemical company named Monsanto (they are the makers of round-up pesticide) now owns the right to soy beans.  Their beans are genetically modified and are taking over the industry because they are cheap and used in billions of packaged food products.  They are forcing farmers to buy their seeds by not allowing them to save their own seed.  Most corn is now also genetically modified or GMO.  So when buying corn or products that use soy in any form you want to be sure to buy NON-GMO to ensure its safety for your family.  You can read more about this disturbing truth here.
  • 10. The FDA is run by lots of “formers” former heads of food companies that made millions selling the consumer unhealthy products.  I am not one to get political, but we have learned that trusting the FDA to modify the safety of food is unfortunately not possible anymore.  We have to be the ones informing ourselves of truth and then using our dollars to “vote” for what is healthy.
  • 11. We try to stay away from the middle aisles of the grocery store where the boxes and cans are. My cart consists of mainly: organic fruits and veggies, 1 grass-fed beef pack, 1 free range chicken pack, oats, whole wheat flour, honey, and nuts.
  • 12. Because we don’t buy boxed, we have to make what we once bought boxed.  This is where time comes in to play.  If you aren’t buying frozen waffles or boxed cereal you need to make muffins and granola.  If you aren’t buying granola bars you need to make energy balls instead.  There is a give and take here and you have to find what works for you.  I am in the kitchen a good deal more than I was before, but we ALL are.  It has become more of a family affair, a way of life.  We have chosen to invest here because we feel that it is important and worth it.  In the end it is about choice.  Is it worth some added time to raise a healthy family?  I say YES!
  • 13. Simplicity is key.  I used to have several snack choices on hand at all times.  Now each week we usually have one or two choices.  Either fruit with nut butter or whatever we have made, like energy balls or homemade granola.  Less is more. And it keeps it interesting, when the next week comes you can change it up and make something new.  The kids look forward to it and it keeps life easier.

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Join Me In Praying for Lainee Grace

One of the things I love about blogging is the people I have met along the way that I would have otherwise never have known.  Sometimes it can feel lonely in this space and I wonder if anyone reads what is poured out on pages in the middle of night, but  other times this space has linked my heart with sisters, forever sisters that love me across miles and allow me to do the same for them.

One of those sisters is Laura.  She has been such a sweet friend to me and truly a sister of the heart.  She has offered words to me just when I needed them and prayers when I was hurting and extended love beyond miles.  I am so thankful for her and for her brave mothering and steadfast devotion to follow the Lord no matter where He is leading their family.

A few days ago she was awakened to her daughter having a seizure ( a long one it seems) and since then they have been in the ICU with sweet Lainee seeking answers and trying to stabilize her.  Lainee came home about 2 years ago from Guang Zhou China and has thalassemia.  She is just a beautiful little love.  Although I have never hugged her in person, I have fallen in love with her contagious smile through the pages of Laura’s blog.  There is much I could say, but I would rather you just go to Laura’s blog and “meet” her yourself.

I would be honored if this little community of readers would join me in lifting Lainee Grace, Laura, Chris, Laura’s mom (at home with the other 7 kids) and the rest of the family up as they endure this trial.  Pray for healing, wisdom, answers, perseverance, that God would be high and lifted up in this, and that all who see the way this family loves and fights for Lainee Grace would also see Jesus.

You can find out more on Laura’s blog “My Great Eight” right over here.

Thank you for coming together as the body and holding this little one up before the throne!

Love to all, Carrie

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The Filling of Us

We are filled.  To the top, bubbling over the edge, overflowing… and yet completely empty.

We were created as empty vessels, earthen vessels.  People that by our very nature require use: the filling and emptying is the necessity of our being.  And yet we have run from the ache of empty.  The un-comfort of being wholly dependant on another’s use of us, of someone else’s decision on how and when and with what to fill us.

We want our own way, to be masters of our own destiny.  To choose the filling and with what we are filled.  And so HE HAS LEFT US TO OUR OWN DEVICES and WE ARE STUFFED FULL of everything BUT HIM.

Filled and overflowing with information, news, education, Facebook updates, twitter feeds, food, plans, money, our own self interests, self-awareness, activity, work, schedules, games, church, movies, comfort, pornography, lust, greed, business, laziness… shall I go on?

We are so FILLED so STUFFED -so ADDICTED – we don’t feel hunger anymore.

WE NEED TO BE HUNGRY, we need to want, to be without, to be dependant again on our source.  Because hunger must exist first before true filling can begin.  And the hunger that aches is the birthplace of real true unshakable faith.  Without the hunger we are just full, numb, and useless.

 

And so where do we go?  How do we begin to hunger again for the things that really satisfy?  To be used up and poured out and live for WHAT WE WERE CREATED TO DO.  TO BE THE VESSEL OF USE WE WERE MADE TO BE?

WE MUST FIRST EMPTY.

We must empty all that is filling us that is not of Him.  It is not that what currently fills us is inherently bad, it is just not what we were made to hold- to behold.

We were made for Him, for His crafting, measuring, making, using, pouring, forming…

To empty we must turn off all that is taking the empty space, hording our love, capturing our hearts and passions and time.  The TV, the internet, the blog, the phone, the social media, the books, the oven, the school,  the job the anything else that fills to the top and overflows that isn’t Him…

And then we must pursue Him, His book, His presence, His word, His worship – it will wash away “the full other” in a river torrent wild and He will pour into us the life-giving water we were meant to hold, to give, to pour and overflow with.

It will clean and refresh and give us back the privilege of living for the end, for the “well done good and faithful one”.

It will restore and set right and make new.

It will FILL wholly and SATISFY completely but first we have to be willing to enter the empty, embracing our purpose of Another’s use for Another’s glory.  To turn off the world loud and turn on the still and quiet Him.

The Him that fills only where there is room to flow and ebb.  The river wild is always running and bending and searching for a life to pour into- to fill up.  It will run lower and lower into cisterns deep and dark only because they are there empty and waiting to be filled.

He is pouring himself out every minute of every day, the question is, “Is there room for His water washing?”  Is there space to move and work and speak and lead?  Or are we filled up to the top before He pours?

And so He meanders on, willing, wanting, and looking for the empty one – ready and waiting to be filled.






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WE did it!

Celebrating the end of his first year of school.  We have such a smart, sweet and thoughtful little guy, I am blessed to be his mama and teacher. Never mind that “Kindergarten” is misspelled on the sign!  Oh yes, I am the teacher here!  Hopefully I will learn to spell when I teach it to him! LOL!

Wanted a picture just like big bubba. And as usual never too far away from his Thomas 

And this goofy gander wanted in on the action too!

That’s right, year one homeschooling… DONE!  I laughed because I really should be the one holding up that sign(I mean let’s be real, right?), but me in my pajamas with hair like a bird’s nest would not have been nearly as cute.

We were thinking of going through the summer, but lets face it, MAMA needs a summer break!  So kindergarten is officially over and first grade and pre-k is on the horizon for next year.  This really is a special day because I remember wondering how we would do it, with 4 kids 5 and under.  Would anyone actually learn anything?   But here we are by the grace of God.  And you know what?  You want in on our secret of how we got it done?

One day at a time.  Some were great.  Lots were not.  We just kept plowing through one step at a time.  I love how God works it out in us.  We want to feel great about life, but he would rather make us GREAT-FUL about life, by teaching us to rely Him, knowing we can’t do it alone.

So to celebrate this momentous occasion we head out tomorrow for 2 days at a hotel in Orlando.  Just me, a pina-colada, the pool and my wonderful husband…  Oh yea and our four kids running amuck.  ;o)  Did I have you fooled for just a second?

Oh yes, a little alone time would be dreamy, but not nearly as adventurous.   Pray for us, we don’t venture out often!  Praying for lots of fun, a little sleep, for hearts that get along, and memories to be made by just being together.

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Running…

To and fro, from this to that.  Running.  I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN RUNNING.  Pushed out into this messy world with the shoes on my feet and I haven’t stopped…

until now.

I don’t really know what to say here, which is unusual.  But, for the first time in my life, I am slowing, pausing, loving the simple.

Simply Home… I know, I know, but really I didn’t.

Still don’t in many ways, but I want to.  I want to enter the rest, smell the roses, grow some food, cherish my kids, stay in my pj’s and revolt against the race of rush.  Stop doing things because everyone else does them.  Stop marching to the calendar and bowing to the clock.  And feeling that frantic pressure to fill time before it slips away.

The filling of time. That alone can feel like a 90 lb weight bearing down on the back of my neck….

Praying for eyes to see life eternal... as it really is.

Asking for the grace to live well and full- but not full of fear- instead full of grace.

Hanging up my running shoes for bare feet…

because sometimes when you open your eyes and REALLY SEE, you realize that this-the very place you are standing- is holy ground.

And like Abraham your feet need to feel the earth beneath them- they need to connect with the path they are walking here.  Because HOLY isn’t a place but a journey- a way in which to walk.

And something tells me that this journey of a SIMPLE. HOLY. FOR HIM LIFE -

May be best sojourned with bare souls.

bare. opened. slow. Godstruck.

Holy can’t be made to fit into life.  Rather, life must slow to see it.  We must arrest our pace and look for it- it is always there- HE IS ALWAYS THERE- just waiting to be found.

The bush is burning, can you see it?

…………………………………………………………………….

I am really getting practical over here with this.  Changing everything about the way we eat.  Slowing down our school day, cooking REAL food and enjoying doing it.  Planning a garden.  Blogging and media-ing less.  Turning off the tv’s. – that.  Oh yes, the way too big screens that we have 2 of in this house.  Ouch.  More on that to come… Pray for me to be brave… and for us to follow Him.

Would love to hear from you on this, anyone want to do simple with us?  Go forward by going back?  We would love some company!

Blessings to you all…

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The Divorce from Process

Divorce.  It’s a common word these days – too common – almost expected.  Like the towel is in the ring before the match has even begun.  It makes us feel better that way, less responsible somehow.  Usually we think of divorce in the context of marriage, but I think it goes so much deeper and farther than we even realize.  We are a society that is divorced from the process.

The process.  The in between.  The not quite there yet.  The working it out.  The overcoming of fear.  The fighting to hang on.  The being present-involved-active in whatever it is we are doing, being, making, raising, and building.

Kids don’t raise themselves, meals don’t make themselves, and marriages don’t sustain themselves – it takes work, knowledge, effort, and tenacity.  It takes Christ.  It takes us.  It takes us in Christ and Christ in us – the hope of glory.

Ok, so back to process.  God is opening this up for me in a big way, in a food way.   Like manna- weird and unfamiliar – yet unexpectedly sustaining.

I have never thought about the process of what we eat.  I drive to a building, buy a box – bag – can – bottle – package: open it up: pour it – heat it – slice it – spread it – cook it:  and then eat it.  I have never really thought about where it came from, how it got there, how long it has been in existence, whose hands touched it before mine or what was really in it.  Is it even food?

I have been divorced from the process.  I have believed the lie – looking at the nicely wrapped end product and assuming it was fine (even fruits and veggies are made to look beautiful so we will buy them).  Not realizing that God intended different.

We were meant to be involved in the process of what goes into our body.  Really from kill and pick, to bake and swallow – it was our responsibility to make it happen.  We were present in the process so we knew what we were eating. We had prepared it and the ingredients it contained were a short few.  He called our bodies temples, not to be cute, but to be real – this body is His house.  And He wants us involved in the caring of it.  Not because He wants us to have great bodies (although I am sure He can appreciate a six-pack or two) but because He wants to teach us something in the process.

This was God’s plan: simple food and bountiful provision.  It can benefit our lives and our family both physically and spiritually.

BUT- we have to be involved in the process.

I can’t leave that up to food companies and factory workers or the FDA.  I have to get back to the basics which means more time planning and more time in the kitchen.  It means less meat so the meat we buy can be healthy meat.  It means investing more resources into taking care of the bodies within my care now so i don’t have to play as much damage control later fixing health problems that we could have prevented.  It means committing to the simple less glorious tasks of dishes and food prep all in the name of accountability and good stewardship of my family.

In the end the details matter to God.  In fact, it is in those details that we find Him.  As we pull the muffins out of a hot oven, He is there.  Our scrubbing of pots can sing worship to Him because our hearts are bent on serving and we are submitted to the process not just the end product.

………………….

Can I share with you a few things that I am learning as I process through?

  • “In 1960 Americans spent 17.5 percent of their income on food and 5.2 on health care.  Since then those numbers have flipped: spending on food has fallen to 9.9 percent and health care costs have climbed to 16 percent”              In Defense of Food – Micheal Pollan
  • Cows are designed to eat grass, when they do it makes their meat healthy and nutrient rich.  The meat we buy in supermarkets is from cows that are fed lots of other stuff that is not grass- the biggest one being other dead cows.  And because of this they have to be treated with a myriad of antibiotics to just be kept alive. Same goes for chicken and pigs for that matter.
  • 70% of crops grown in the US are subsidized by the government and grow genetically modified corn and soy crops not for direct human consumption but to be made into highly processed food and to be fed to feed lot animals. – documentary FRESH
  • Companies can hide harmful chemicals and compounds banned in other countries in their labels (as long as it is less than 2%) by putting it under the category “natural ingredients”
  • The FDA does not require food companies to label products as “imitation” anymore.  Most of what is on grocery store shelves is not even close to what it says it is, “truth in advertising” is no longer and most food products are simply an illusion not actual food.

Isn’t that mind-blowing?  When we engage in the process He has lots to show us.

………..

His last night before He would go to the cross could have been spent anywhere.

But it was spent sitting at a table eating a meal with treasured friends.

And when He said “do this in remembrance of Me”?  It could have been a thousand things.

But it was the breaking of bread and drinking of wine.

I think I just got goose bumps…

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Really Brown Brownie Recipie

 

OK, so let’s just get this out of the way right off the bat.  These are NOT low-calorie.

BUT if you are looking for a yummy gooey treat, than you can make these and feel good about the ingredients in them.  Nothing refined, nothing white except a little sea salt.  I am really picky about brownies, I am not a cakey brownie fan.  I want mine thick, fudgy and ooey gooey – these deliver on all that.

Whole, perfectly chocolaty, rich, and ridiculously good.   Now that your mouth is watering here is the recipe:

Ingredients:

1 1/3 cups semi sweet  Ghirardelli choc chips ( plus another 2/3 cups  for adding in before baking- you can use semi sweet or a different for this like – milk, dark, or white to change it up a bit)

5 T organic butter

2 organic eggs

3/4 cups organic coconut cane sugar

1 t natural vanilla extract ( I use Spice Island Brand it’s a little priceir than your run of the mill but it is pure vanilla without alcohol)

1/4 t sea salt

3 T unsweetened baking cocoa (I use Ghiradelli)

1/3 cup whole wheat pastry flour

Coconut oil (just for greasing the pan)

Directions:

Grease a 8×8 pyrex dish with coconut oil and preheat oven to 350.  Cut butter into cubes, melt it and the choc chips together in a double broiler ( a metal bowl set over a boiling pot of water.  Make sure the bottom of the bowl isn’t touching the water, just getting the steam – once water is at a steady boil underneath your bowl, turn heat off and just stir mixture until creamy- set aside.

In a separate bowl wisk your coconut sugar and eggs together until they are a smooth texture with no clumps and the mixture flows off of your wisk in a steady stream- it will be brown.  Then wisk in vanilla, salt, and cocoa.  Next sift in your flour (you can just use a small hand strainer) and then gently fold in the flour until totally combined.  (Don’t mix it too much- just fold it gently, this will keep your brownies from getting hard).  Once it is totally combined fold in your 2/3 cup of chips.  Pour into greased pan and Bake at 350 for 20 -25 minutes.

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Blood Brothers

These 2 boys bless my heart.  Such a sweet picture of brotherly love.  Ten months apart, chocolate and vanilla, they could have never known each another.  But through God’s tender mercy they are brothers – blood brothers.

When Joshua was just 3 months old and 2 bright pink lines raced down the plastic stick in hand, I had to work to breath.  How would I do this?  Wait, I couldn’t do it…  Care for 4 kids 4 and under?  Teach, love, educate, and care for their unique needs?  All while fighting in court for the completion of an adoption?  He had to be kidding…

 

He wasn’t.

 

What I couldn’t see then were these 2 boys.   The loving and the wrestling and the racing and the laughter.  I couldn’t see my “twins” from different continents sewn and knit together as forever friends.

 Can you hear “chariots of fire yet”??? 

I could have missed this, they could have missed this.  But because God’s love is great and His pursuit relentless, we didn’t.  He saw past the overwhelm and the long nights and the tears to this beautiful picture of love.

Blood brothers indeed – His blood.  Which covers and binds and knits together families that show us beautiful pieces of His heart.

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